Ready, Steady, Cock

Why is this fuckstick on television?
Really, WHY?
In my television-watching history no one human has ever pissed me off the way this total nob has.
He completely ruins what would otherwise be a kick-ass show. Ready, Steady, Cook rocks – the concept is gold, the chefs are pros, the timeframe is spot on, the audience participation is perfectly managed but all of this is TOTALLY fucked up by the completely useless host.

Here are some examples of his uselessness:

• he can't read (listen to him try and interpret the cue cards, which, incidentally are almost exactly the same every show).
• he doesn't know ANYTHING about cooking. NOTHING.
• he touches everyone inappropriately. Keep your hands to yourself you letch.
• he continuously interrupts the chefs to ask them questions that a monkey could answer. Eg, Peter: so what are you doing now? Genuis chef who has been running his own highly successful city restaurant for 20 years: boiling water. Dickwad.
• he giggles like a 12-year-old private-school boy every time a vegetable is produced that in any way resembles a certain part of a man's anatomy. Oh we get it, you're gay, and that zucchini looks like a penis. What a fucking hilarious gag. I mean really...GROW THE FUCK UP.

The man is a moron. I'd rather watch Naomi Robson interviewing fat teenage mums on welfare who are running a Nigerian banking scam.

I challenge anyone to watch 15 minutes of the show and not feel murderous rage.

On a lighter note, how good is the cricket? Seriously, I love watching the English get beaten. If Matthew Hayden wasn't a christian, I'd be a little bit in love.