Tori vs Tara

I'm watching Tori and Dean Inn Love - you could be forgiven for thinking that I've sunk to a new low but then you couldn't know that last week I watched approximately 10 minutes of Wild On Tara Reid. Let me tell you, that is as low as you can go.

Still, do you want to know something amusing? Tori Spelling talks about 'her fans'. Really, she does.

Last time I looked this wasn't the luckiest predicament to find yourself in: http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/survival-miracle-after-bay-nightmare/2007/09/08/1188783562138.html
Weird reporting.

Motherhood

When I was pregnant I hoped I would be one of those cool mothers who swanned around the house in old, extremely well-fitting jeans, listening to the Stones while my perfect baby lay on a sheepskin rug in the corner entertaining herself with wooden, free-trade toys. In a serious departure from the dream I actually spend most of the morning in cheap bath robe, watching Lifestyle food while Cleary drools over plastic toys from China.

I can't say that any part of this makes me unhappy, in fact - it's pretty much perfect.

I'm giving up celebrity gossip magazines.

Last night I read an interview with trashbag Katie Andre (she of the buoy breasts and addiction to pink) and her talentless, faux husband Peter Andre. The interview was conducted in order to introduce us, the hungry for anything public, to their new bundle of joy. The following interchange made me reassess my weakness for all things celebrity:

Interviewer: Are you breastfeeding Katie?

Katie: No, it's brilliant I have 20 crates of teats and bottles - I don't have to sterilise or heat anything, you literally take the teat out of the pack, screw it on, throw it away. And they gave me a tablet that dries your milk up so my boobs haven't hurt or leaked or anything.

Interviewer: So why did you decide not to breastfeed?

Katie: I don't want a baby drinking from me - the thought of it makes me feel really funny. Only a certain person could handle my knockers!

This whole thing made me feel sick. Now, I know that I'm particulary sensitive to this issue at the moment but I can't believe that I wasted five minutes of my life reading an eight-page spread devoted to such a dangerously self-obsessed and mind-numbingly stupid individual.
I'm ashamed of myself.

I couldn't resist

I will try not to become one of those mothers who is completely obsessed with her child (although I totally am).

Check her out - I'm pretty sure she's the the best baby in the world. She's certainly top 5.

I was going to try and blog about something that is unrelated to babies but there is nothing in my life at the moment that is unrelated to babies. I have to wait until my brain reforms.

Cleary

This should explain why I haven't blogged for eight weeks:

I worked in travel publishing for seven years. Overall it was great. I met fantastic people and for the most part the work was interesting and challenging enough. Despite this, I'm not really so keen to go back to the same job after I finish my year's maternity leave. I want to try something new. Knowing this, I spent some time the other night trying to think of what I've learnt over the last seven years that will translate to a new and exciting career. I couldn't think of much. However, I have learned that Greenland's polar ice cap is 3km thick and if it melts the world's sea levels will rise by 2m; Bulgarians shake their heads to mean 'yes' and nod to indicate 'no'; and Thailand is the only Southeast Asian nation never to have been colonised.
So, who wants to to give me a kick-ass, highly paid job in TV?
Anyone?
I know shit (see above).