I am currently off work on maternity leave. There's no baby yet so this is basically the best time of my life. I'm the furthest away from having to think about gainful employment without the responsibility of raising another human being. I like this time because I can set my self small, realistic goals each day and feel like I'm really achieving something. Yesterday I dusted the blinds in the living room, did two loads of washing, put the bins out, had a massage and bought Ben a present. Today I went to a friend's house for coffee, went out for lunch, brought the bins and the washing in and checked my emails. I've had double-glazing installed in the front window, a built-in wardrobe put in the spare room, the couches have been steamcleaned; I've vacuumed, changed the sheets and cleaned the bathroom.

I think I've got at least another week of this kind of living before the tedium takes a hold. Thankfully, Foxtel goes in on Tuesday. This will save me from Ready, Steady Cook; Huey's Cooking Adventures; Days of Our Lives; the Catch-Up and Entertainment Tonight. That shit is rotting my brain.

This is also hard to take:

As is this:

If you ever needed any hard evidence as to how overwhelmingly fucked up the United States is then these two images should kick start the prosecuting argument.

Crisis

I arrived at work this morning to find out that there was a burst water main on the street, which means that our building has no water.

This is the all-staff email that has just been sent around:

'Hi everyone,

Kellie is off buying some extra water for drinking and some 'wet ones' type hand wipes to place in each of the toilets so that we can clean our hands.

We're going to put signs on the loo doors in a moment - one 'brown' loo in each bathroom for 1/2 flushing - we'll leave a bucket of water in there to refill the cistern. The rest will be 'yellow' loos - no flush unless really necessary.

We can live like this for a couple of hours and still be hygienic.'

UMMM, I repeat 'ONE BROWN LOO'!
I don't think so. More than 300 people work in this office.
I'm not being very cool about this. I'm driving home if I need to go.

If I could look like anyone in the world

I would want to look like this:



















Wouldn't you?

I don't like...

Pancakes
Caramel
Cake
or strawberries.
Dunno why, I just don't.
I have a breakfast date tomorrow morning and I know that my friend will order pancakes. I will do my absolute best not to think less of her. Still, it's hard. Savoury is the choice of champions.